Here is a picture of my dad, Boyet, together with my youngest nephew Josh. I chose this photo to be the first thing you’ll see as this reminds me of how he used to be when he’s still with us.
Tomorrow, November 23, 2015, will be papa’s first death year anniversary and it still feels like yesterday. All the memories keep coming back and the pain just won’t stop. I miss him.
Our family is not an epitome of a perfect one. People who see us on a daily basis would agree but our family love each other. We are not showy and we’re not that sweet but we love each other the best way we know how.
We are not perfect and so is my dad. Growing up I’ve seen him struggle, had vices and they say he used to be a womanizer when he was younger. I even witnessed him switching jobs from one to another so my mom needed to earn to cover up for him.
It was hard seeing things that way. I was young and was confused. That time I didn’t understand so many things as to why or how it happened. So I got angry with him.
From then on, I see things differently but negatively. I always ask my mom why my dad is like that and sometimes I compare him with some other dads. My mom did her best to explain several reasons but I was too stubborn to comprehend why.
Things got better as time goes by. I guess, I seem to understand my family better especially my dad as I grow up. On second thought, maybe things don’t really get better, I just get to understand things better and change the way I see them. That made me love my family and my parents even more. I have forgiven my dad for his shortcomings.
My dad is a very quiet type of person. You’ll never notice him unless you turn and look around but he’ll let you know if he doesn’t like you and will speak the truth for the wrong things you do. He’s a man of principle and that’s one thing I’m so proud about him.
Given that my dad is a man of few words, I grew up not knowing a lot of things about him. I do ask but I respect his space when he doesn’t feel like sharing.
One time my aunt Nina came by, my dad’s second degree cousin and I had the chance to hear a part of my dad’s story from her together with my mom. Some of it I know already but it’s good to hear it every once and a while.
My dad is an only child by my grandfather Binding and my grandmother Toying. My grandparents’ relationship went really well until my great grandmother Tomasa showed up and took my dad and his mom away from my grandfather. My dad was only a baby at that time.
They say my grandfather is a genius. He always get promoted wherever he goes and he is a good provider. He provides for my dad and my grandmother but he provides for his brothers and sisters too. He send them to school while providing for his own family and that’s what ticks great grandmother off to take her daughter and grandson away.
I can’t imagine how painful that would be for their family. It’s even worse than a tragedy. What happened from there was history. My grandfather met a woman named Pasing they fell in love and got married. On the other side, my grandmother remarried an American named John and my dad was left behind with his grandmother in our country, the Philippines.
My dad grew up without the loving arms of his parents, although his grandmother took very good care of him I think it’s still different. He didn’t know what it’s like to grow up with a father and he doesn’t know what it’s like to be pacified by a mother. It must have been really tough for him.
I heard at first my dad hate his parents but then he chose to forgive them. I admire him for that. I just realized now, at this very moment, that my dad is a very good son. Even though his parents failed to fight for him and shelter him as their child, my dad didn’t fail to show respect and love them as their son.
I wish my dad opened up to us more then I wouldn’t have to waste so many years trying to understand him well. Then we could have even more bonding and I could have done better as a daughter. I wish I’ve been a great daughter.
It is officially my dad’s first death year anniversary obviously I started this blog last night after I came home from work. I paused for a while, then remembered to call my mom about their plans for today’s tribute to my dad. “It is done,” she said.
I was surprised. I was at work the whole time thinking about it and they already paid tribute to my dad without me and my husband knowing. Maybe that’s one of the downside of being away from my family but that’s another story. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Mom said it was really successful attended by more or less than a hundred people who truly love and value my dad. It really means a lot.
I mentioned from last night about the story of my dad. So let me continue. He chose not to hold grudge to his parents instead he honored them. I remember when I asked him why and he answered, “Don’t be like that, they are still my parents.”
His answer was short and straight to the point so I didn’t ask anymore. My dad is a good son and for me he’s the best father. He may have had a lot of mistakes from the past but he did change and made a difference the best possible way he could. I know because I witnessed how he gave his all.
I remember when I was young, there’s this trending big stuffed toy that is out in the market. Everyone of my playmates has it. One morning I saw my dad coming with the same smile as you can see in the picture. He’s carrying a huge pink fat rabbit stuffed toy with a rainbow colored ball in its hands. My dad bought it for me and I love it so much. My first ever stuffed toy and it’s pink.
I no longer have it, but the memories are still there. How I felt when my dad gave it to me and how I remember his genuine soft smile. It’s just priceless. I know my dad loves me and he showed it the way a child would understand. So, I did and I’ll remember it for as long as I live.
One trait that I can still remember from my dad is how proud he was having the three of us as their children and how he used to tease my mom that we’ve got the looks from him. Those are just one of our happy memories.
He’s also vain especially when he was younger. He shower three times a day. He shaves regularly with the complete set of before and after shave session. He has his own lotion and hand cream. He likes perfume and he even had a complete set of nail cutter. I think he’s the only one that’s so vain in our family. They say he got it from being pampered by his grandmother.
If we have one thing in common that everyone would agree, I think it’s our love for accessories. We both love watches, rings, bracelets, and necklace. Even key-chains, purses and wallets. That’s where we relate from each other the most. It’s so obvious and it’s really not hard to find him a gift during Christmas season.
We both also like journals, organizers, and pens. If you’ve met him you would certainly noticed it too. You would see him writing from anytime of the day. Some of it are lectures from the church while some of it are lists of items he needs because he used to have a small variety store.
He loves to eat. He loves egg and any dish you can think of it. Then every time he doesn’t like our viand, he’ll just get one raw egg, mash it along with rice, sprinkle it with a little bit of salt and viola! He’s got himself a perfect meal. I know it’s weird but it’s also amusing.
He also enjoys my mom’s special dish which is ‘Bulalo,’with fish sauce on the side and ‘Crispy Pata.’ Then later on discovered ‘Crispy Ulo’ that he likes as well. It was my then boyfriend’s favorite ‘pasalubong’ who’s now my husband, Hackett. Last but not the least is Liempo and all of them are high in cholesterol which I guess we all love.
He’s fond of tumblers. He’s got this collection of tumblers with different sizes, colors and uses. Some are for cold drinks and some are for coffee. He’s a big fan of coffee and different variety of beverages. He just want to drink comfortably. I think it’s kind of cute.
He usually sits alone and has his favorite hang-up spots in our home. While sipping coffee and having cigar, I often saw him staring afar. I wish I knew what he was thinking. It will remain a mystery now.
There are still a lot of things I can remember with my dad like, his favorite color which is white. He likes white t-shirt and ‘sando.’ He collects Swiss knives and loves camouflage shorts and fatigues. He likes leather, sandals, and sneakers too and his favorite was his Dickies. He also likes sunglasses and he has wide collection of caps too.
He’s also up to date with technology nowadays. That’s what I like about him too. Age is never a hindrance to learn new things for him including Facebook. He even used Bluetooth to listen to music and he always got his earphone wherever he goes.
He’s into news like reading newspaper and listening to am radio station all day long. He’s very aware of politics and he’s also good in English. He knows all about current events and what’s funny was he used to answer back whenever the announcer say something off or the news itself was off. He also got a variety of transistors and he loves watching movies.
I also want to share how great of a grandfather he was, he used to take good care of all of his grand kids, they’re so lucky being spoiled the way he did. I want to share how he sacrificed a lot for my siblings especially my eldest brother Cris but it would take me forever and I intended to make this post before this day ends in the loving memory of him on his first death anniversary.
So, I will end here for the moment but I will continue to remember my dad and his good qualities. I will continue to share it with you as I blog.
WE LOVE YOU PAPA, WE MISS YOU… UNTIL WE MEET EACH OTHER AGAIN.